To spark your creativity, tap into your desire

Desire is the key to almost everything linked with our creativity. It’s also part of what makes setting goals intimidating!

When we think about doing something new—whether that’s starting a new project, taking a course, or changing something about our personality—that process puts us squarely in front of a sticky question:

This can be freaking terrifying depending on what our relationship with desire is. Even the word itself (dee saaaare … gross, right?) might make us a little bit squeamish.

If you’re feeling icked out by my preliminary question, you’re not alone. There’s so much cultural baggage around the concept of want!

What’s our deal with desire?

Depending on your background, you might have grown up thinking desire is:

• Embarrassing
• Childish
• Taboo/private
• Selfish
• Destructive
• Even immoral

Oof, that’s a whole lot of baggage for one little word. Let’s break it down!

Social conditioning around want

You might think it’s embarrassing to want something badly. It’s vulnerable to show people that lack and our ambition for more.

It might seem childish, like that gimme gimme impulse kids have in toy aisles and candy stores. Something we should have outgrown a long time ago.

Maybe you associate desire primarily with sex. So depending on your upbringing, the idea could feel like too private to acknowledge or even taboo.

People may have told us it is selfish to want things, to put ourselves first.

And it’s a quick leap from there to believing that desire is destructive, that it will hurt other people.

For some people, a religious or spiritual culture may have made us feel that desire is immoral, that good people are grateful for what they have and don’t reach for more.

Some folks try to protect themselves from future hurt and disappointment by just not wanting anything at all in the first place. “What if I let myself feel that, like really truly wish for something and go for it, but then find out that it’s impossible? What if I can’t have it? I would be devastated.”

Parents, caregivers, and general people pleasers will relate to this next one. (Where are my Twos on the Enneagram?) 

Are your needs so far down the priority list that you draw a huge blank when you go to ask, “What do I want? Wait, what do I want?”

Responding to a never-ending list of external demands and crises drains our creative energy.

Starting new: You have permission

Before you can set goals, you may need to do some belief work to give yourself permission to feel desire in the first place.

Do you believe that you’re allowed to do your creative work? To want something big? If you are waiting for someone to give you the green light to dream, you might be stuck in limbo for a while.

Why? So many people have crushed their desire to dream and to take risks (see all those cultural taboos above) that they are jealous of people who let themselves go there. Or they might be scared of us. Either way, you are going to have to give yourself permission.

Gone are the days of asking politely for a pass or permission slip before you meet your own needs. Now you have the power to choose your priorities!

Practice these mantras of self-authorization (or some variation that speaks to you):

Choose the one that feels the most dangerous and either say it aloud or write in out in a journal until it shifts into a place of truth inside you. From there, you’ll be ready to (re)start your creative work.

The good news is that you don’t need a blazing fire of desire to start something new. To begin a project, all you need is a spark.

Choose the one that feels the most dangerous and either say it aloud or write in out in a journal until it shifts into a place of truth inside you. From there, you’ll be ready to (re)start your creative work.

The good news is that you don’t need a blazing fire of desire to start something new. To begin a project, all you need is a spark.